It's been so very long since I lost put a blog up on this site. I'm not even sure where to begin this time around. So much has happened. There has been a lot of things I daresay I regret, some things I definitely wish I could take back, both said and done, and some things that are better left unsaid entirely. There is also a lot of good things to balance out all the blemishes of the time past. I don't want to go into any of that stuff though. What I do want to talk about is how just fragile the upside to life can seem. I'm scared that some of the good things and blessings in life are so fleeting that just acknowledging them and allowing myself to feel them at all will cause them to vanish. If there's one thing of note to summarize how my time, at least internally, has been spent this past long while, it's that, at least for myself, I often fail to appreciate what I've already got. I made some really stupid decisions a few years back that could've landed me in a dire world of desolation, heartache, and profound loneliness and regret. Without going into detail I hurt some people very near and dear to my heart. I caused a pain and sadness I can never mend and that hurts more than anything. I'm not perfect, by any standards, and am certainly at fault more than I'd like to admit. It's not hopeless for me though. It's not hopeless for you either. During this time I took for granted so many things in life and thought, for whatever reason, that no matter what I did, certain things would stay just they way they were meant. Life has a funny way of showing you that some expectations aren't meant to be had though and that's a lesson I had to learn the hard way. I want to caution all of you to hold fast to the things you hold dear. Respect everyone and everything in your lives and realize that, someday, without provocation, or as a result of some fool hearted action, those things may cease to be a part of you. Fortunately for me, the victims I'm referring to are more forgiving than I am to myself. I've made my amends with the Lord, to the wounded parties, and acknowledge that someday I will forgive myself. This is something I challenge all of you to do as well. Don't linger in the past and dwell on the things that stain your past. Rather look forward to whatever life has to offer you and appreciate everything as if it were the last of its kind. Cherish your relationships. Help them to grow and be just as forgiving of the wrongdoings of others as you would want for yourself should it come to that. Life is to precious to hang out in your shadows and hide from the light. Bask in the light of the sun and be mindful of the great power of the Lord, your God. Always remember him in everything you do. Trust him to never lead you astray and know that he will be there when you need him. Don't be afraid to talk to him. He will not judge your thoughts because he already knows them.
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