Staying positive against the odds

We live in a world where the media, social or actual news, controls our everyday life.  If most of the posts you read before going about your day are of a negative nature then chances are high that you will be down for the day.  If you read a news story before going to work that highlights the generosity and kindness of the human spirit then you may go to work feeling elated and you may even spread some cheer of your own.  Sadly though, people tend to focus more on the negative aspects in life.  Perhaps it is because the negative, the pain, of life has a greater chance of leaving a scar.  How often do you associate a scar with a good thing?  Not very often right?  I don't.  Scars, in the physical sense, are received from injury.  Even if you were having a great day when you received that injury all you are likely to recall is the pain and possible humiliation, which just serves to further imbed the scar on an emotional level as well.  Thus making it harder to heal and/or grow from it.  Everyone has that one friend or relative that talks about how the world is negative and nothing good ever comes from anything and I think that is a very sad way of seeing the world.  There is much greatness in the world to behold.  It is "human nature" (in quotes because I dislike those words) to focus on the negative, to point out others short comings, and detract from our own insecurities and areas of growth opportunity.  Being positive or uplifting is work.  People are lazy.  It is easier to give in to what surrounds you rather than stand your ground, possibly be ridiculed, and fight back against the beast of human nature.  I struggle daily with embracing the good in life.  With what I do professionally it is my job to seek out the negative individuals and pursue them as they act out their negative, and often illegal, intentions.  When I notice an opportunity for growth (which is a nice way of saying something annoys me or needs to be fixed) I battle within my own mind whether I should be blunt or lay out the protective padding so they're feelings are not hurt.  I've often been told by people who are close to me that its futile to dwell on things I can't control.  And while I agree wholeheartedly I still want to compromise a situation to the benefit of all parties involved.  I'm not entirely sure the direction of this post.  It feels like a vent but I'm trying to get out some conflict within myself that I'm hoping someone can shed some light on.  I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore or if they ever did unless I asked them to or directed them to from social media site (Facebook).  Honestly, I don't think it really matters one way or another because I'm likely to delete this and just consider it a rant that I needed to tell someone.  Nowadays though, I don't think anyone really listens.  I'll tell you currently I'm reading an insightful book on non-verbal communication.  I've learned from it and from my own experience that I'm actually not as great a person as I believed I am.  Your body, the human body, betrays your mind but expressing its true intentions and feelings one way or another.  A twitch here, a foot pointing towards the door, a heavy sigh, avoided eye contact, are all signs that your mind is trying to get your body to escape a situation.  More often than not, especially since I've started reading this book I've noticed that people do not want to be around me.  Whether it's at home where I should feel welcome or at least have the expectation of feeling welcomed or at work, where the majority of people are there because they have to be and not because they want to be and interactions with unsavory characters is unwanted but unavoidable I notice more and more that I  may be a nuisance.  Of course, this detracts entirely from the subject of my post because it dwells more and more on the negative aspect of my life personally but there you have it.  It's been typed out on the screen before me.  If I don't delete it I'll be surprised.  If anyone actually reads it I'll be even more astounded.  I'm drinking a beer right now to numb my mind into being less crisp and less in control of my motor functions.  In the least, perhaps someone will read this and notice they are not the only ones in the world in their situation.  In a kindred spirit lies hope right?  I hope.  I hope all the time.  Its been said that without hope there is nothing.  But what is hope really?  Is it the vain and misplaced faith that something better exists and maybe, somehow, the universe will see fit to bestow it upon me without my having to work for it?  Who knows.  Another subject for another post.  Sometime.  Maybe.  I guess the point I'm trying to get at here is that I'm miserable always trying to seek out the best in any given situation.  What's the objective in trying to seek out positivity if the whole world is so dead set on drowning themselves and the people close to them in all things negative.  Hate is a word I hear too often and taken in context is more often used to describe feelings of dislike.  Why not then say that you simply don't like something or someone?  Why take it all the way to the extreme?  Life is not either A or Z.  Not just black or white.  There is joy in the gray areas and all the letters in between.  I can and will continue to hope for better things but I will not be wasteful in my pursuit of them to the point that I will miss out on life in its entirety.  If you are a negative influence or an obstacle standing in opposition to the joys I know life has to offer me I will crush you, step over you, walk around you, and sally forth.  I will not look back.  I will not help you up.  I will not cry for you. Your despicable attempts to slow me down will be wasted on the sounds of laughter and glee.  Maybe someday, years from now, I will think back to your poor crushed body and wonder if you ever found the courage to summon yourself from the depths of your own despair.  For that's truly the only way to do it in this day and age.  People will come along and offer to pick you up.  They may even carry you for a while.  But the truth in the matter is if you don't care enough to save yourself then you will not be saved.  I do not mean this in a religious connotation but you can take it that way if you want to.  If that perspective will help you dust off and move forward then so be it.  In those many years from now that thought will only be brief and I will take solace in the fact that I did not give up with you or allow you to drag me down.  I AM a strong spirit.  I have a soul all my own.  My mind, my body, my thoughts, and my actions are all my own.  I will not give up.  I will not quit.  I will not stand idly by and let life happen as I watch from a hole in the ground only to be stepped on and down trodden for the rest of my days.  There is positivity.  I can see it.  I can feel it.  If this in any way sounds like something you struggle with then I encourage you to write it out.  Let out how you feel.  Don't even show it to anyone.  Just keep it to read.  Let yourself know you are human.  You make mistakes but you don't have to let them govern you or your life.  I'm not saying that you should pass by the people in the holes.  By all means, if you so wish, stoop to help them.  Let them know all is not lost nor was it ever.  In my own life though, if I stooped to help you in your metaphorical hole and you refused me but instead asked me to join you in your misery then know it is to you that this is directed.  I will not join you.  I will not conform.  So what if everyone is doing it or not.  I'm not them.  I am an independent being, capable of greatness.  Take this how you will.  I hope it helps you be courageous and strong.  Be the change you want in your life.